Dear Crabby

I just became aware of this (real!) Dear Abby letter:

Dear Abby:

I found out my husband has been corresponding with prostitutes he picked up when we went on vacation. He emailed them twice, but the second one hurt me the most. He sent her money. I confronted him and was ready to end the marriage, but we have a son. He denied having sexual contact with the women and said he was just flirting, so I forgave him. But I told him I won’t tolerate it a third time. He agreed to have marriage counseling and do his part to convince me he will change.

Is it worth it to try again for the sake of our son? I don’t trust him anymore, but I still love him.

— Ready To Let Go

Dear Ready:

When a man gives money to a hooker, it’s usually for a reason. The reason isn’t charity; it’s for services he wants rendered. (And they don’t take money in arrears.)

No one can decide for you whether to stay in the marriage, but before making any decisions, make it your first priority to contact your doctor and be checked for STDs. Who knows what your husband might have picked up while “flirting.” If you do decide to remain in the marriage, you’d be wise to schedule regular appointments for STD checkups. Your husband has shown himself to be not only a philanderer but also a liar.

Frankly, I think Abby was waaaaayyyyyy too gentle with this idiot. My response would most assuredly have started with “Are you fucking stupid?!?!”.

I mean, honestly? What’s wrong with these women who stay with their horrid husbands because they have kids?? Don’t they think of what they’re teaching their kids about marriage, relationships and commitment?

It’s official. I’m starting my own advice column. I’m not exceptionally smart, but I am remarkably wise. This may or may not be the result of making a number of really bad decisions along the way and actually learning from them. Being short of patience and utterly unable to sugarcoat, my responses will be more…ahem, direct…than traditional advice columns. In a sticky situation? Need straightforward advice on how to handle your kids/husband/neighbors/co-workers/boss? Email Dear Crabby at stunninglysuperficial@facebook.com. Spread the word.