Oh, how I love Facebook! It’s the perfect amount of communication with friends and family. I get to keep up with everyone’s lives, have a few laughs, get into (occasionally heated) political debates and feel the sting of humiliation when I’m tagged in a particularly unflattering picture – without ever having to see anyone in person. It’s like a dream come true! If I could just convince my mother to get on Facebook, my life would be complete!
Please don’t misunderstand me. I like people. I really do. I love talking to them and asking them a hundred questions about their lives and meeting their families and seeing their homes. I just don’t like having them in my house. Not because I don’t enjoy seeing my family and friends – I have the greatest family and the coolest friends on the planet. I’d probably invite everyone over every weekend…if I wasn’t such a slob.
Yes, it’s true. My house is a mess. There’s clutter everywhere. No flat surface is safe. Also, it has that ‘not so fresh’ feeling. You know when there’s a faint smell of funk in the air? The kind that’s not enough to make you gag, but enough to make you try to find the source, if only to satisfy your curiosity? Yeah, that’s what my house smells like all the time. It’s kind of like a mix of dog and stale air and whatever I cooked last night.
This would probably be a good time to thank the makers of Yankee Candle for creating a product that at least temporarily masks the funk when I have no choice but to open the door and allow people in.
So, there’s my dirty little secret. Literally. I hope we can still be (Facebook) friends.